All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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