Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
