For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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