i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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