community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
