i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
