Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
