So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
