I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need a beard to bite.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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