Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
