Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
