I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
