Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am naked and annoyed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
