it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize