do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
