i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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