I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
