Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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