I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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