Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
