Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
