There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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