I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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