I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish you could order shots online.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
