so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
two words: eviction party
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
