Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
