I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
