You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
