now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
