You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
