On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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