all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This baby is an asshole
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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