whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
