and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
