so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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