sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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