Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
