is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
