why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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