I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
