these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
