even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
