My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
