i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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