Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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