God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
