I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
