New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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