I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
