i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
