Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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