Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
