What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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