Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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