Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
