trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think my moral compass just broke
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
