If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
