Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
